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[12 Jun 2005|11:10am]
[ mood | mellow ]

havent updated in awhile..

Went to river beach yesterday w/ a bunch of people. That shit was crazy..I had such a good time. I wish I could go again today w/ all of them.

Harely came down for the night. Havent seen him in awhile. He is such a sweetheart.

Didnt have to come home last night and got to stay at james. James was passed out at like 10:30 and everyone else was wide awake. So yeah we all just sat around talkin and what not. Went to bed at like 2:30 this morning. Woke up and went to breakfast w/ harley and richie. Now Im home about to go pass out. Im just surprised my mom let me stay at james last night. She knows Im growing up!

I love them guys w/ all my heart. :)

In joy and sorrow

[02 Jun 2005|10:52pm]
[ mood | I feel wondeful ]

okay yes life has been wonderful. Saw my mindy sue today. Hung out w/ Richie B. I mean mean what could be better right now..

party time tomorrow. Friday night. Hangin w/ my party people. Man I love this summer. Lets just hope it keeps going this smoothly!!

yup your wonderful :)

1 // In joy and sorrow

[31 May 2005|10:11am]
[ mood | infuriated ]

yeah last night was a fucked up day. Things happened that I didnt expect or could have gone w/o even happening. Yeah I just dont give a fuck anymore. I let myself care to much then I get hurt. Maybe Im blowing things way out of porportion. I guess everything will work out in the end. I just didnt see this happening

Its summer fuck it all. Im just going to try and have fun and not worry about the little pity things.

5 // In joy and sorrow

[30 May 2005|10:20pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

if you only fuckin knew how much I care.....

I hate this feeling

why do i let myslef even care this much?!

In joy and sorrow

[30 May 2005|10:24am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Oh wow. I was nuts yesterday. Went to Clearwater beach with Jackie, Gil, Darrin, and Bobby. Its been a good minute since I've been to a real beach. We got there pretty early at like 10. So we spent like all day there. Went swimming in some hotel pool acting like complete idiots. Layed out for most of the day. Im really red on my face. I think Jackie is tanner than I am. Well yeah we had a goooood time. The guys were a little crazy at some points but hey thats what makes it fun!!

Oh yeah Saturday night went out with jackie and bobby glass. Yeah Jackie and I bought something and of course my dumbass lost it. I was soo pissed I think that like ruined to whole effin night. Im soooo sorry Jackie

Tonight going out w/ richie B..that name is fun to say, the infamous James Dobson which I swear is the love of my life..lol! No clue what were doing but who cares.

Summer has been good so far...lets see how it continues

In joy and sorrow

[28 May 2005|09:34am]
[ mood | okay ]

Last night sucked. I didnt do a damn thing. I was asleep by like 9:30..finally got some major sleep. So tonight I better be going out.

Went to river beach yesterday w/ jackie, mandi, darrin, and a few other people. Jackie and Mandi I looooove you :) Got home at like 7 and called a few people to try and make plans to go out. No one answered so yeah...I was just like screw it I will stay home and sleep on a friday night.

Yeah the summer is off to a great effin start....maybenot

I just wish you understood how much I really do care

2 // In joy and sorrow

its party time [27 May 2005|08:58am]
[ mood | calm ]

well I couldnt have asked for a better night. It wasnt tooooo crazy but I still had fun. Just crashed at dobson's house. Woke up this morning and justin drove him to work. And now Im home. Everything worked out perfectly and Im more than likely going out w/ them again tonight.

I havent talked to jackie or mandi..sorry mandi for calling you like 2563214 times this morning.

I havent slept in like two days. I didnt sleep at all last night and the night before I just layed there and stared at my ceiling till my alarm clock went off at like 6. Ive been having trouble sleeping lately..umm I wonder why?

In joy and sorrow

tear my heart open [25 May 2005|03:02pm]
[ mood | curious ]

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Sittin at Jackies house. I wanna go out tonight. I really hope it works out.

Tomorrow is the last day of school :) I wanna go out and party!!!

hmmm yeah..

In joy and sorrow

[23 May 2005|09:49pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Crazy and stressful weekend...

Went to Busch gardens on Saturday. That was one stressful day. It was fun though. And not getting much sleep friday night made Saturday so tiring.

Sunday went to the mall and got some really cute shirts for like really cheap. That kind of shit makes me happy :)

Then today went w/ brittany after school. We went to some cowboy/cowgirl store, with all the boots and wranglers. I've never been in one of those. Then James, Justin, Jessie, and I went out to eat at the chinese restaurant. I tried some weird ass food. Wasiba(or however you spell it) is the grossest thing I have ever tried. OH yeah and sushi that was okay.

Well Okay yeah Im going to bed now

1 // In joy and sorrow

[19 May 2005|10:21pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Yeah tonight was fun!!!

Hung out w/ james. Met his friend jessie...that was awesome! Might be hangin w/ them tomorrow not sure yet.

Got that goose :)

1 // In joy and sorrow

[19 May 2005|04:33pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

One more week left...then summer 05' baby!!

This summer better kick like major ass

I think I already got my weekend pretty much planned out. Now I gotta make sure the plans all go through. I really want to float down the river on sunday. Its been awhile since I've done that. We need to get a bunch of people to go. Clearwater beach maybe on Saturday w/ the wonderful jackie?!

Umm yeah I think my arm is bruised a lil from falling down greg's stairs. That shit was funny. Yeah remind me next time to not walk down stairs in slippery wet shoes...

Im okay

3 // In joy and sorrow

so random [17 May 2005|05:53pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

well life has been interesting....

Lets see nothing to exicting has happened. I havent been out and about in town in a good while. I kinda like it that way. It doesnt start trouble and drama.

Sunday was fun though. I got to hang out w/ jackie for the first time in awhile. We went to the beach and layed out. If we had a radio that worked, it would have been more interesting. But we had kevin and shannon and the nice little talks we had w/ them! :) Jackie is getting out of ISS tomorrow...she's moving out! Now it wont be so quite and boring in art class. love you jackie <3 (oh yeah thanks so much for the letter you made me today. It means alot!! Im always here for you)

okay well Im done

5 // In joy and sorrow

[08 May 2005|12:50am]
[ mood | energetic ]

Man I had a very good time at Kevin and shannons tonight. Like even though their older than me, they are really cool people to talk to. I must have been down there for like 7 hours. I think I need to do this more often. :) It was awesome just staying home this weekend, or should i say close to home.

Took my mom out for a pedicure and manicure for mothers day. It was really nice bonding time. Then came home and cleaned a lil. Tomorrow were going to the cove to eat dinner w/ the grandparents. I love the cove they have such good hot wings. Man Im looking forward to just eating dinner tomorrow.lol

Even though i didnt go out this weekend it still went very well. No drama or anything, which we all know high school is all about. I had fun bonding w/ the mom and then chillin down at the neighbors.

Oh yeah i talked to my mindy sue tonight. I hardly ever talk to her on the weekends. We havent hung out in a long time. But summer is coming up so that is all going to change...at least I hope so! Man i miss our little hangin out times we had.

but Im not even a lil tired right now. I dont even think I could fall asleep. But Im going to call this entry short cuz I think Im being too loud out in the computer room.

I LOVE IT!!! :)

4 // In joy and sorrow

why do I let you do this to me...? [05 May 2005|06:13pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Today was such a sucky day. It rained all day. I think the sun is finally trying to come out, only to go down in like another hour or so anyways.

Tomorrow is friday. I really dont think I'm going to be doing anything. I wanted to hang out w/ some people tomorrow but I highly doubt that is going to work out. I'm so naive...My mind is telling me all these different things. Like I dont know what to believe about whats going. Just when I think everything just might be okay, I start to think twice and...yeah its NOT!!


I'm just in one of those moods :/

2 // In joy and sorrow

feel like crap [04 May 2005|02:07pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Okay Im sittin here at the middle school. I woke up this morning w/ really bad stomach pains. So I just stayed home. Then i woke up and watched a lil of this movie. As Im sittin there relaxin w/ the heating pad on the power just goes off. So Im pissed not feeling good and all of a sudden the damn power goes out. I went out to the living room to find another little surprise that pissed me off. So I called my mom in tears cuz I felt like shit and the house was hott as hell cuz the air of course wasnt working. So she came and picked me up and brought me to the middle school. I have a doctors appointment in a little bit. These middle school kids are driving me up the wall. I just wanna go home and pass out. I almost forgot how immmature they really can be.

Anyways..yeah my stomach hurts like major. Not to complain or anything...

All I wanted to do was fall asleep at my house all day long and just relax and feel better but that didnt work to well.

okay I think Im done complaining now..

you ;)

2 // In joy and sorrow

i love you guys [30 Apr 2005|11:48pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

okay quick update cuz Im a loser..and I feel like if I went to lay down right now I wouldnt be able to fall asleep. So Im makin a update to kill some time.

Went out w/ jackie, james, and harley tonight. Can I just say that I seriously missed hangin out w/ all them. I had so much fun last night and tonight. You dont understand how upset and hurt I would be if anything were to happen between us again. Im just praying for the best! Thats all I can do..

Im wishing next weekend is as good as this ones! Jackie you were awesome this weekend Im sooooo very proud of you! I loooooove you, and I loooove James, and I looove harley...haha good times! More to come w/ them Im sure....

Well okay I know that was short..but even though I really dont think I can fall asleep, Im going to go try and lay down. I need some major sleep. I swear I didnt sleep a wink last night. Laying next to that certain someone can do that to you ;)..

well goodnight

you still get me:)

3 // In joy and sorrow

last night=aMaZiNg [30 Apr 2005|01:16pm]
[ mood | content ]

Last night was pure amazing. Hangin w/ my girl jackie and a few other people. It turned out way better than I had planned. Im just glad I dont have the same drama w/ a certain someone any more. He seriously is a great friend to have on your side. Got introduced to Morgan! :) Jackie girl we had some great times last night. Thanks for being there w/ me all night. I loooove you... Oh yeah gettin pushed in James' pool with our clothes on. Its just the little things that matter anymore. James stickin up for you at mcdonalds.."man jackie I told you he has your back."

Now tryin to make plans to go out tonight. Dont know if they will work out. I gotta convince my parents if I stay out tonight that I can get up monday morning. I can do it! I really want to go out tonight and hang w/ the same people. Everything seems right again. I reeallly hope it stays like this between everyone. I cant handle drama at this point in my life right now.

Okay Im done w/ this update..Lets just hope things stay like this!!

In joy and sorrow

I hope tonight works out... [29 Apr 2005|04:45pm]
Today's Friday!!!

Sittin at jackies already in a great mood. She makes me smile :)! I cant wait to see what happens later with the night. For some reason I have a really good feeling about this whole night. I cant wait to get all ready and go out for the night. Okay now watch it turn to hell, and I will wake up in the morning wishing I wouldnt have hung out w/ that certain person. Darn I guess we will just see what happens.

Omg Im sittin here eatin these dot candies which I have no clue how old they are. lol

I effin cant wait till tonight!
In joy and sorrow

so very confused [24 Apr 2005|01:12pm]
[ mood | confused ]

So last night didnt turn out like I had planned. Of course full of more confusion and drama like always. But I gotta say my brother being there with me did help alot.

So Mindy and Jackie came and picked me up. We went out to walmart so I could get a card for my dad's birthday. Went and picked up David. Then we came back to my house and there was this little surpise party thing going on. So it was nice.

Then we drove to bealles so i could pick out an outfit to wear for the night. Went over to jason's and were trying to make plans for the night. Headed to Mcdonalds. Yeah and then the rest from there was crazy. Talked to James :), but yeah that is a long ass story that I dont feel like typing on here. Lets just say I really need to talk to him again to figure out what the hell is goin on w/ us. But I think the whole hate relationship between us is over now. Which is all I wanted from the start.

Jason and I ended up coming home at like 10. So no parties for us...But by that time anyways I was ready to come home and just go to sleep.

Now today Im sittin here confused as hell waitin on a phone call from a couple people so I can get this stuff straightened out from last night. Man I'm so glad my bro was w/ me last night. He is so understanding and we talked about alot of different things. He made me realize alot and I feel so much better. I just wish he lived closer so I could talk to him more. He has changed so much for the better and I'm so very proud of him. All I can say is I love my family!:)

But over all I guess I had a pretty good weekend. Last night could have been better, it being my birthday and all but hey what can I say.

1 // In joy and sorrow

[23 Apr 2005|10:06am]
[ mood | crazy ]

Yes Today is my Birthday!

Mindy and Jackie are on their way to pick me up for breakfast. Their so awesome I love them two <3

Then Mindy is stayin in town for the night so were gonna get our pimpin on tonight. I have so many different plans for this evening. I cant wait to see whats going to happen. Gosh I'm so very excited. Hangin w/ Mitch, Jackie, and Mindy for sure. Then we'll see what happens from there.

Last night was blah. Like I had fun but I saw a few people I could have gone w/o seeing. I dont know I was in one of those moods last night. I was hangin w/ david and my mood would go from completely happy one second to like blah the next. I met up w/ jackie last night, I mean I was losing my mind w/o her.

Well okay I think my bro wants to get back on the computer. Oh yeah he is here for the weekend. He's been so goofy today. He came in my room at like 8:30 and woke me up screaming "its your birthday, get up out of bed." Then he turned my light on and shut the door. So of course I got up. So yeah this day has started out to be good.

cant wait til later!!!

In joy and sorrow

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